right now feeling a little stress sia.. dear & me seem to be a bit weird.. or maybe it is just me ba.. I know he said that I should not be worried that I'll make him upset or disappointed, but I can't help feeling that I'm always upsetting him in a way. I can't help feeling that he deserves a much better girl than me! Sometimes I really feel so useless, a simple thing also can mess up. A simple thing also find it hard to express to him... haix..
I know everytime I mention my ex, he'll get a bit upset. I don't blame him. Then things feel a bit awkward (to me) when we are smsing or chatting on phone. I get stress up because a simple sentence or thing I say will further disappoint him. plus, I'm not good at thinking at such situation or good at expressing out my thoughts. It's a weakness of mine. So when I don't think clearly, I'll just make him even more upset... dear, I can sense when you are upset with me de.. sorry that I'm not that good a girlfriend. I also don't know what to say then you'll feel better. That day I ignored you was NOT cause I was upset with you leh..it was cause I'm afraid what I say will make you more disappointed with me. or rather make you more disappointed with my answers.. I know ignore is a form of running away... guess tt's what I've been doing all my life, running away...
2.15pm: Just put down the phone with you, feeling a little frustrated.. I don't know if I'm doing the right things anymore... I WON'T tell you things about him le... make our day always so bad... haix.... then do you want me 2 call you de not? everytime I call, you will ask,"then you call me for what" in a tone like I'm disturbing you like that............. HAIX! I'M SO VEXED NOW!!
dear..I really hate to see you like so moody cause of me lo.. You said before that only I can make you happy and sad.. haix.. I seem to be always making you sad only... maybe that's why I always think I'm not good enough for you......... sigh.....
Hakuna Matata ; 2:23 PM
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